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Q: How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
Q: How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: To get to the other side.
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. It's left to the reader as an exercise.
A': One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the
problem to an earlier joke.
A": One. He gives it to five Oregonians, thereby reducing the
problem to an earlier joke.
A'": In an earlier article, zeus!bobr writes:
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the
problem to an earlier joke...
In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician
can change a light bulb.
If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply
watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the
light bulb.
Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers,
n mathematicians can change a light bulb.
Bibliography:
[1] Weiner, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, "Re: YALBJ", 1986
Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We don't know. They never get past the feasibility study.
Q: How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: They don't need to, they glow in the dark.
Q: How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle...
... and one to change the bulb.
Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and
sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
Q: How many aides does it take to change President Reagan's light bulb?
A: None, they like to keep him in the dark.
Q: How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Depends on what you want to change it into.
Q: How many missionaries does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 101. One to change it and 100 to convince everyone else to change
light bulbs too.
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
-Eric
CIS Morale Officer
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